Madness is Next to Godliness (or) A Road Paved with Good Intentions

From the Diary of Miladriel Aeravir, 14 Lharvion 998 YK

Current Mood: Rapaciously greedy
Current Music: The Silver Flame Took my Baby Away – The Raven Queens

During my reign of terror where I decimated the living quarters of a one Prof. Jon Kraeken, I was stopped because a sudden, earthshaking noise downstairs. It seems the old bastard dug out a basement under his bungalow and made a labratory on it.

After a cursory examination a note, in blood confirmed my earlier suspicions. Wherever Prof. Kraeken was, he was indeed alive. Well, you can’t win em all. Secondly he asked up to take care of “Gary.” Gary, as it turns out, it a very large creature known as a Bullette, aka a “land shark”. Surprisingly he seemed to be a vegetarian and already quite tame. Fancying myself a Beastmistress of sorts, I decided to direct him in battle while Kit decided to treat him like a puppy.

We collectively decided we needed to head to Tempest Isle though that would require a few things: knowledge of where Tempest Isle was and a ship to get us there. We headed to Regalport, not too far from Jon’s summer home and began nosing around.

My first thought was to purchase a ship outright, but we were about 9,600 GP short. However Kit and I caught wind of a ship about to be taken over by some financially savvy pirates. We quickly found the Gallows Auctionhuse where the deal was going down.

Outside of the door we heard some commotion when someone yelled out “we’re taking over the ship!”. In a fit of bravado bolstered by thrift, I burst in , fists raised and shouted:

“The only person who’s gonna be taking over a ship will be me!”

The takeover was pretty painless, I ran in the back lines and, with Alain, took out the Captain’s First Mate. The majority of the crew mere taken care of my Sean, Lin, Kit, and my new best friend, Gary.

The captain himself was extremely fey. Like more than the Fey Love series of eladrin/gnome romance novels I’ve read on several lazy Zuls.

Anyways, after forcing him to surrender, we obtained The Goblin’s Stew a shipped seemingly staffed only by cooks (not Goblins though) who didn’t seem to mind that we only saved them from the pirates because we’re too cheap to buy our own ship, offered to aid us on our journey to Tempest Isle.

Lin, Kit, and I went to the Market to gather supplies for the trip. As we went to gather supplies (and food for Gary), Lin spotted a ridiculous number of copies of the previously mentioned “revised” edition of her book. A bit of talking led us to a tea house where the publisher’s Lhazar office was temporarily held.

From the receptionist’s conversation, we learned that the publisher was based in Rierdra, of all places. From what little I know about the place, this is not good news. I’ve run into their ambassadors once or twice and they always struck me as a little too spiritually fulfilled. I’d say they were ready to don white robes and drink some special “Zil-Ade”, but they already have the white robe part down. I put a call in to Nessie to see if should dig up some dirt on the publishing company.

While we were busy with that, Alain had a conversation with the head chef of the Stew and learned that Tempest Isle was going to be a more difficult trip than originally thought. It was decided that, in order to find the journal on the almost completely inhospitavle Tempest Isle, we were going to have to visit Malon Finch in his cell. In order to get there, we would have to gain Prince Rygar’s permission.

Along the way, Alain found a poster for a 333 Lunatic Lane reunion… without him! Instead, the band was fronted Credo lead singer [NAME HERE], and had began writing news songs esposuing the silver Flame. Alain was… well he was unhappy about it to say the least. At least he didn’t take it out on the poor receptionist at Prince Rygar’s office.

When we regrouped at Rygar’s office, Alain asked for an audience with the Prince. We were initially getting the cold shoulder, but a mention of Malon Finch and Jon was enough to have him appear before us, in the stateliest mobile throne possible. At least when you consider it was made of skeletons. We barraged him with several questions since we weren’t quite sure what to do at the time. Rygar explained than Jon himself somehow teleported into the prison, and tried to escape with Finch in tow, but was unable to do so. Jon, somehow, disappeared yet again.

After a bit of noodling, Lin asked if we could see the prison itself and Malon Finch. Rygar didn’t give us permission to see Finch, probably cause he’d thought we were gonna spring him (which honestly didn’t cross my mind at the time) but he gave us a chance to go and seethe prison itself, which Lin decided was enough for now. Afterwards we made our way back to the Stew and off for the prison.

Dreadholme definitely lives up to its name. If it wasn’t a prison, I would swear it was the hime of some crazy Archlich or, even worse, a politician. Surprisingly enough, however, the staff of the prison, while all Warforged, were quite courteous. They were more than willing to give us the nickel tour… well give Alain, Sean, Kit and Gary the nickel tour.

Lin and I decided to play infiltrator and snuck to the back, opening the door to the Maximum security ward. While we were doing this, the group apparently played dumb, Kit more than the others, and Warden Watch, a huge Warforged, named led them around showing off th features. There they learned that the prison operates using a panel that is activated by his hand.

As we snuck in we found Malon Finch, along with a crazed Berserker and Artificer. I was surprised Finch was a kenku. Figured he’d be taller for some reason. While I tried scaring him into telling us where the journal was, he laughed me off. Maybe I do need to wear the mask off the clock. People always says that gets them riled up, though now that I wrote that I’m not sure that’s what I want when I say intimidate…


Where was I? Oh, right.

Finch, to his credit, was a very very creepy man. Yet, he seemed troubled by more than his current capture. He asked to speak to Lin, but told me to leave. I snuck back outside and patiently waited for a while, monitoring the progress of the tour.

I don’t know what he said to Lin and she never really told me afterwards. Finch intimated I knew too much as it is, so I’m starting to wonder what Finch, Jon, and this device is exactly.

After a few minutes, it looked like it was now or never. I tried to signal for more time, but it was obvious there wasn’t much more. Sean asked for one more around the prison and her surreptitiously laid down some explosives which would end up being pretty useful.

I ran back in and said, “All right, it’s now or never. Are we springing him?”. Lin nodded and we prepped for a jailbreak. Lin assured the cooperation of the Artificer and I got the Berserker on our side.

Tonight, there was gonna be a jailbreak!

You won’t believe what happened next, but that’ll have to wait until later…


Thanks guys, hilarious stuff! You are all making this so much fun.


Gallows Auction Scrape * 13th Lharvion 998 YK The Korranberg Chronicle

Regal Port Edition 3cp Issue

Regalport – Late last night at the Gallows Auction off of 3rd Street, what began as an innocent purchase of the Clipper Ship “Goblin Stew” by law abiding citizens of the Bloogflag Consortium, became a bloodbath when five unknown assailants accompanied by a monster resembling, in the words of one survivor, “A huge armadillo”, stormed the establishment, murdering five armed men and making off with the ship’s crew.

Captain Balthag, who led the team assigned to procure the seafaring vessel and it’s men, was one of the lucky ones who lived despite taking vicious damage from the thugs. He later explained that he and the Captain of the “Goblin Stew” were moments away from reaching a satisfactory agreement on a contract when the crazed marauders burst in, hacking and slashing.

The bandits are described thus: The leader appeared a thin human male donning leather armor and wielding a sword far larger then one might think him capable. His accomplices included an ambidextrous, six foot female Elf, a slight female monk who could, “absorb heavy blows as easily as she proffered them”, another apparently human male in a long brown duster who flung tiny explosives around the room, and the previously mentioned monster who experts that have heard the description are calling a Bulette.

The final member of the psychotic entourage is none other then Kit Reinhart, Entertainer extraordinaire, ascertained due to the fact that the young acrobatic woman constantly shouted her name before each and every move she made whether it was shooting deadly bolts from her crossbow, emitting magical rays, or juggling colored balls.

The group is heavily armed and considered terribly dangerous. If anyone sees someone he even remotely suspects as being one of these cutthroats, you are directed to RUN to your nearest government building or Bloogflag Consortium Office. Also remember to be on the lookout for the “Goblin Stew”. REWARDS WILL BE GRANTED.

“Before I could wonder why these maniacs were here, they’d cut my First Mate, Percy into pieces”, stated a frazzled Captain Balthag from the Regal Port Hospital. “In less then a minute five of my men were slaughtered before I even realized they were here about the ship. It was all I could do to keep their blades off of me and tell them they could have it. Suddenly, they became docile as lambs and ignored my associates entirely as they lay bleeding and crying for help amid their own entrails. The bloody savages!” - staff writer Gorgin Jones


Aundair Chronicler Found Dead……….1A Arts & Entertainment……...................1C WEATHER Hate Mongering in Thrane…................2A Opinion Pages…...................... .........1E *Partly Clear Skies Cannith Unveils Breakthrough…..........2A Local News….....................................1F High: 104 Low: 74

Mystery Cargo in Regalport…..............1B Weekly Weather Forecast….…….......1G


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